The Power of Now: Who knew being present could feel so good?

I’m reticent to say a particular book has changed my life to avoid sounding overly dramatic and impressionable, but let’s just be honest here: The Power of Now blew my effing mind away. 

I have read other books that have transformed my thinking:  The War of Art, The Power of Habit, The Secret, and The Four Agreements.  And while I don’t want to discount their value, particularly since they all likewise had lasting impressions on me, The Power of Now took things to the next level for me.

With a Buddhist bent, though with no particular religious affiliation, the book deals with such themes as time (past, present, future), the true self, peace vs. pleasure, and consciousness vs. unconsciousness.  As someone who often grapples with worrying and sometimes anxiety, particularly about the unknown future, Eckhart Tolle’s words spoke to me in an extremely profound way, in a way that I’ve never heard them before – or perhaps have been open to hearing them before.  “You can always cope with the Now, but you can never cope with the future – nor do you have to.  The answer, the strength, the right action or the resource will be there when you need it, before, not after,” Tolle writes. 

While I pride myself on being a pretty good communicator (I thank my Moms for that one), I find myself in my head a lot – thinking, processing, analyzing.  (Maybe it's my INFJ/Piscean combination, who knows.)  Only until reading Pema Chodron’s teachings and then reading this book, did I realize how counterproductive that is, how unnecessary that constant thinking, processing, and analyzing actually IS to making good decisions and attaining the best, most meaningful life possible, which is what we're all striving toward, right?  While Pema Chodron’s words in her beautiful simplicity made complete sense to me, I wasn’t quite sure how to DO it, how to even begin stepping outside my mind.  Tolle put it this way:   

You are cut off from Being as long as your mind takes up all your attention.  When this happens – and it happens continuously for most people – you are not in your body. . . .  To become conscious of Being, you need to reclaim consciousness from the mind. . . . It will free vast amounts of consciousness that previously have been trapped in useless and compulsive thinking.  A very effective way of doing this is simply to take the focus of your attention away from thinking and direct it into the body, where Being can be felt in the first instance as the invisible energy field that gives life to what you perceive as the physical body. 

Since reading this one little paragraph have I been able to reduce my overthinking, by focusing what is going on at the given moment.  Here I am typing on this keyboard/sipping my tea/my legs are extended and crossed at my ankles/a cold draft is hitting my calves.  In other words, I am in the complete present – not feeling bad about some stupid comment I made to a coworker the other day, not regretting the ice cream I had last night, not worrying about making sure I work out today.  I am completely and utterly in the present, because that’s all there is – not the past, not the future, but the present. 

Even in our present lives, though, there are circumstances or situations that make us unhappy or dissatisfied.  These may be where we live, our jobs, friendships or relationships, certain addictive behaviors, and even our daily routines.  Tolle suggests that “[w]herever you are, be there totally”, but “[i]f you find you’re here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally.”  Being in the present is the knowing you have the power to change the situation and that the situation does not have power over you.   That is such a freeing concept to me:  the idea that we are as much in control of our life situation as we are our life destiny.

There’s so much more, but as with everything it's much better experienced firsthand.  Just read the book, and if you're as taken by it as I was, they even have The Power of Now Inspiration Cards!  (Totally worth it, in my humble opinion.)  I may not have it all figured out, but so long as I have the tools I’m at least partway there, right?  That's what I tell myself anyway.

"What You Won't Do For Love"

I am utterly obsessed with Jessie Ware these days. 

Her voice, her style, her essence and soul -- to me, she represents everything that I love about music.  Needless to say, if you haven't heard about her, you're missing out.  Tonight I discovered a cover she did of one of my very favorite songs of the 1970s, Bobby Caldwell's "What You Won't Do For Love", and it's so disgustingly beautiful I can't stop listening to it. 

Even though the original is one of my favorite songs of all time, I am honestly not sure whether the original or Jessie's remake is better.  (As a sidenote, 2Pac and Gwen McCrae also have some pretty fine renditions of the tune as well.)  Alas, without any further adieu, here's a side by side of Jessie's version and Bobby's version.

 

Overwhelmed by TMI

I have been feeling overwhelmed by too much information lately. Not in the “I’m-all-offended-because you’re-telling-me-too-much-information” kind of way, but more in the “I-don’t-know-what-to-do-with-all-this-information-overload-in-the-world” kind of way. 

And the Internet is in large part to blame.

It has become so fundamental to us for so many things – for researching, for communicating, for creating, which is why I freaking love it. Practically everything you need to or want to know is on there, at your fingertips at any given time. But because of this kind of access, the Internet has produced a kind of live information feed of EVERYTHING that you either WANT or DON'T WANT to hear or read about.  And it all has become incredibly overwhelming.

I am admittedly a full participant in what the web has to offer: I’ve got my various social networking accounts and profiles (Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, you name it); I keep most of my favorite websites on Google Reader, except for the stragglers that I have bookmarked on various computers, the lack of organization of which is, quite honestly, driving me bananas these days; and I have my various favorite go-to news sites (in particular, the Daily Beast and Huffington Post). 

While I like to feel connected and informed on current matters, there is an undesirable byproduct of this all, which is as true and as cliched as it sounds: information overload.  For this reason, I admire my good friend Elizabeth who up and quit Facebook cold turkey several months ago. She finds herself more content and at peace, not to mention the fact that she doesn't even miss it.  She has also found herself making more of an effort to initiate contact with her friends and family the old-fashioned way:  via telephone or email. While I admire that, I know that quitting Facebook is not the answer.

Because for me, it’s a bigger issue.  This was revealed to me as I was driving home last night clicking through all my SiriusXM presets and feeling overwhelmed by that too. I love the liberty of being able to choose, but what good is choice when it becomes so limitless that we continually feel unsettled in our decision(s)?

Technology is supposed to streamline things – and it does in many ways – but if the side effects are stress, dissatisfaction, and feelings of being overwhelmed, something ain’t right, right? While I want to find a way to scale back my reliance and the pressure I feel from it, I know that giving it up completely is not realistic or something that would be beneficial to me, since it is very much a fabric of our/my contemporary existence.  And, besides, I like a lot of what technology has to offer.

I am a believer in self-awareness, especially as it relates to being the first step toward addressing anything.  So, for now I'm going to sit tight and think about it for a bit, but my hunch is that I might need to simplify my life or tweak my perspective.  But if you have any tips or pearls of wisdom in the meantime, I’m all ears, and eyes, AND fingertips. (Oh, you know it's true.) 

Week-end Lessons Learned

At my job, “Lessons Learned” are what we assess, discuss, and analyze at the end of a project. By looking at a completed project as something that can be learned from, rather than something that simply goes away when the project is complete, the team is forced to look at a completed project as a series of potential lessons that can be applied to future projects or tasks.

I like to think of life this way, too. As we navigate through life, we know only what we know at the time, but if we’re continually open to learning from our experiences (which consist of a combination of both mistakes and successes) we become better, more evolved people.

My personal Lessons Learned from this week are as follows:

1. When in doubt always carry flats in your bag. Heels are necessary with certain outfits – dresses, skirts, slacks – but they are inappropriate and uncomfortable for walking around a city. With heels on your feet and flats in your bag, you can have the best of both worlds.

 2. Strip clubs are really just bars with naked chicks in them. The dancers do not necessarily have better bodies than you do and some even have small tatas. Also, they carry shiny pink wristlets to collect their dollar bills, which they’re not afraid to count in public.

3. When you’re traveling, the only thing you can count on is a healthy breakfast. So pay for that $7 oatmeal. It may be the only chance you get for a healthy meal and it’s likely not much more expensive than the cardboard-tasting cereal bar at the hotel store.

 4. The “Little Burger” at Five Guys might possibly be better than sex and is completely worth breaking your predominantly plant-based diet for.  The fries are great too -- don't get me wrong -- but the Little Burger is truly something special.

 5. When a man at a bar says to you,“You’re gorgeous/Can I get your number?/Are you married?/What do you do? I’m a lawyer” and then sticks out his limp-like-spaghetti hand, go ahead and believe it when he says you’re gorgeous (because - why the heck not?), but don’t believe that he’s a lawyer.  Also, when someone of the opposite sex comes up to you and asks you if you are a particular nationality, such as Scandinavian or Norwegian, apparently that’s a come-on. Take it as a compliment and tell him/her you’re American.

 6. The music at W Hotels is always sexy and intoxicating and is the inspiration for my obsession with iTunes playlists.  Why I like music that makes me feel sexy and intoxicating is no matter, but you can score the soundtrack here.

7. Jazz-soul artist Alice Smith is back with a vengeance, and her new album, She, includes Cee-Lo Green's cover of "Fool For You," which is just sick. The entire album is raw, soulful, and classy, just the way I like it.

8. There are these Asian noodles called "Pasta Zero Plus" that have only 20 calories per serving. But don't get too excited. They're actually kind of disgusting, contain no nutritional value, don't fill you up (duh, right?), and are just not worth the $3.

Five TGIF Thoughts

1. Just because I have an English degree doesn’t mean that other people’s pronunciations don’t sometimes make me second guess what I previously believed to be grammatically or phoentically correct. For example, I’ve been hearing smart people pronouncing breakfasts as breakfastses lately and it’s gotten me all confused and paranoid.  It's breakfasts, right?  Same goes for the word suppose used in the following manner: “It was suppose to be fun.” It’s supposed, right? Right?  Please tell me I'm right.  (But if I'm not, please don't say I'm right just to be nice.)

2. If you’re in the market for a Rolls Royce sports bra (and as a lass who wants to keep her girls “high and tight” I think you should be), this is the one. For the past couple years, I’ve been wearing this Cadillac-level sports bra, and it’s been extremely supportive, albeit a bit of a failure in the comfort department (think lots of digging in the ribcage during crunches).  The Panache bra is a much smoother ride. A little flashy and a little pricy, maybe, but no one said taking good care of your goods is cheap.  Editor's Note: this recent French study just released suggests that bras don't prevent sagging; however, study results are "preliminary."  Until then, I'm going to continue to support mine, especially during l'exercice.

3. I have always always written off country music as honky-tonk hunky dory, rhythmless, and BORE-ing.  Even in the past several years with the whole country-cum-pop movement did I refuse to jump on that train. But last weekend I heard Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” on the radio and it made me feel like I was 15 again, and I kinda liked it. You know the way Ben Folds Five's Whatever and Ever Amen makes you feel? Yeah, that's what I mean. Of course, as soon as got home I had to download the song, which was shortly followed by a download of the entire album. Now I’m a fan of The Band Perry too. What the hell is wrong with me? (Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?)

4. I read this quote from Portia de Rossi today and it captured the essence [of those who are choosing not to have children] beautifully:

       There comes some pressure in your mid-30s, and you think, Am I  
       going to have kids so I don’t miss out on something that other people
       really seem to love? Or is it that I really genuinely want to do this with my
      whole heart? I didn’t feel that my response was ‘yes’ to the latter. You have
      to really want to have kids, and neither of us did. So it’s just going to be me
      and Ellen and no babies -- but we’re the best of friends and married life is
      blissful, it really is. I’ve never been happier than I am right now.

5. A spray tan has the power to make you feel super sexy (not to mention, tight and toned in all the right places), especially in April if your skin hasn’t seen the light of day since September.  Who cares if you're not going to be wearing a bikini anytime soon?  Plus, with a spray tan, you can elect to get a subtle tan line here and there, because let's just be real: tan lines are pretty hot.

Just a lovely April weekend.

I love a good weekend spent in the nest, where I can get caught up on housework, dig out the clutter in my closets, and experiment with new recipes for a Saturday night meal – all, of course, at a leisurely yet bustling pace.  (It sounds contradictive, but you know what I mean, right?)

Since completing my 21-day cleanse a couple weeks ago I have introduced grains back into my diet, but otherwise have predominantly maintained the eating regimen.  (Full disclosure, though:  I did enjoy my first Gifford’s chocolate-chip ice cream of the season on Easter Sunday.  And yes, it was amazing.) 

They say a habit (good or bad) takes 21 days to develop, and during the cleanse I realized that I could actually give up certain foods I never thought I could cut out of my diet, like refined carbs (Crackers! Croutons!  Candy!), for example.  Now, with the exception of off-beat cravings for Popeye’s fried chicken and homemade brownies (of which I will still allow myself to indulge in on occasion, because let's just be reals here), my desire for non-inflammatory alkaline foods (green vegetables, etc.) has come to satisfy my in palate in ways I never thought possible, which is still just crazy to me, but alas.  In addition, I’ve continued my morning ritual of drinking freshly made green juice because it makes me feel amazing and energetic and quite frankly because now I don’t want to start my day with anything else.  Oh, how I love the power of habit, especially when it's a positive one!

Leading a healthy lifestyle is easy and fun when you’re around people who share the same interest, and I'm very lucky that way.  Having my husband’s new business partner and his wife over for dinner was particularly enjoyable because they are gluten free (and have been for years).  It was a fun challenge to marry a plant-based meal with a gluten-free one.  For starters, I made Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Kale salad, a delicious salad made by “massaging” the tough kale leaves along with avocado and red peppers, finished with fresh-squeezed lemon and cayenne pepper and oil (which I actually replaced with a few splashes of balsamic vinegar since the salad would be moist enough with the 1.5 avocado).   I kid you not when I say that it was kind of orgasmic, which I used to say about chocolate cake, and I still think that, but now I might have to relegate this kale salad to that category as well.

 

For the main dish, I made a vegetable lasagna, of which the “noodles” were thinly sliced summer squash and zucchini, and kale and walnut pesto.  As I cut into the dish, I warned everyone: “This may not be my greatest culinary achievement yet” fearing that it might be a dreadfully boring amalgam of bland stewed vegetables.  Thankfully I was wrong – it was flavorful and rich tasting and also a huge hit, paired with my guests’ delicious homemade gluten-free garlic rolls.  I capped the meal off with a tofu and avocado chocolate mousse sweetened with fresh Maine maple syrup and honey, which I will definitely be making again.  (Only problem was the recipe made only four tiny ramekin-sized servings.)

And today is Sunday, my favorite day of the week.  No schedule; no commitments; PJs until noon. Just the way I like it.

Have you heard?

If you haven't heard of Charles Bradley you should, especially since he just released his second album, aptly titled Victim of Love.  I've admittedly only given the album a first spin, but at first listen my favorite track thus far is "Strictly Reserved For You."  The video is equal parts tender, aesthetically mesmerizing, and silly. 

So, without any further adieu.