December 23, 2012

The Private Dancer

One of my favorite downtime activities is turning on some tunes and breaking out in a little private dancing.  The beauty of private dancing is that (a) you can do it in your PJs (or anything for that matter); (b) you can be in charge of the playlist; and (c) you can be as crazy as you want and no one’s watching, or well, just the person/people you want to be watching are watching.

I love to dance because it allows me to feel music through my body, something you can't quite experience by simply listening to music.  For this reason, it doesn’t matter if I’m tired -- if I turn on some music that happens to have a good groove I’ll break into dance.  Unsurprisingly, this not only happens at home; I do this in the car too.  And sometimes in an elevator or a hotel lobby if I know no one else is around.  A breakout of spontaneous, private dancing is some of the best.

But while I love dancing, I am often too shy to dance in a crowded room of people, save for my prom, the last time I remember getting down and dirty on the dance floor with a kid I had known since nursery school.  That was a few years ago.  For this reason, private dance parties are usually way more fun for me.  You get to pick the music; you get to dance as nasty or as not nasty as you want; and you can wear anything you want.  Besides, dancing barefoot is always much easier than dancing in heels. 

While private dancing is a great pastime, I’ve always wanted to dance at a wedding because that’s what you do at weddings.   What else is the point of a wedding?  :)  I've always thought it was a bit of a shame that I felt too shy to get down in public, particularly since I happen to have some decent rhythm.   This past weekend I went to a wedding where a great deal of dancing was involved.  Listening to the music I got that feeling, that desire to start moving to the beat.  And then I just couldn’t help myself.  My inhibition melted away and I rolled up to the floor and just danced, not caring whatsoever who was watching or who was not watching.  And it was freaking awesome! 

Some people have no problem with inhibition in a crowded room of people, something that I have always admired.  Other people love to be the center of attention, to the point that they need to be the center of attention.  I am not that person.  Don't get me wrong: I like attention, but not in a public way.  I prefer attention from one person or from a very small, intimate group of people, not  from a sea of people, which is why being a private dancer is really fun.  But what I’ve learned is that in a crowded room of people no one is concerned about you since everyone is concerned about themselves.  No one cares if you are dancing or not dancing.  And, for that reason, it is only you missing out if you want to be grooving to the music.  Since I love to dance, it’s only been me who's been missing out on the action, and that's no fun.

Now that I’ve lost my wedding-dancing virginity I feel like a new woman, like I’ve finally unleashed a part of me to the world that I haven’t been able to unleash before.  Oftentimes, it takes just one time to do something to overcome our fears for us to no longer feel paralyzed by them.  I will forever be a private dancer, but now I may take it to the dance floor a little more often.  

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