Music Therapy

One of my favorite things to do, particularly when the weather gets balmy and breezy, is to drive around with my windows open and the stereo on full blast.  It should be noted that the image I’m trying to project here is not quite how I've painted it, because in actuality, this is one of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling not only happy and joyful, but also somber and reflective too.  But, whatever the mood is, late spring/early summer is perfect for this, and there are very few better music-listening experiences than in a car equipped with a good stereo. 

Along with the continued theme of self-soothing, music appreciation is one of the best forms of therapy, incomparable to almost nothing else, besides your best confidant, or perhaps a really great therapist.

Though I’m in a better place than I was a month ago, and therefore a markedly better place than I was several months ago, every so often I’ll take a turn and get hit by a wave of sadness or other somber emotion and wonder why.

As a result, this often cascades into a series of over-thinking and self-questioning, which I realize is "only human."  A wise friend said to me a few weeks ago as we were talking about this particular subject: “Just be gentle with yourself."  Such simple but profound advice, right?

In the race to the finish line why do we expect that if we don’t get through it in lightning speed unscathed and devoid of bumps and bruises that we’re doing it all wrong? Why does the notion of slowing the pace and taking time to tend to our wounds by not slapping a band-aid on them and instead by lapping at them to be a signal of failure?

As soon as I realized that it was okay to be gentle with myself did I realize how this approach is actually more productive than trying to race through the pain by shunning out the sorrow.  But in order to do this we need to learn to be gentle with ourselves, because for many of us being gentle with others to be much easier than being gentle with ourselves. 

Feeling a bit somber tonight, I bought myself two new albums (if you must know, The Roots’” …and then you shoot your cousin” and Lana del Rey’s “Born To Die”), had a picnic (in my car) in the park, and then drove around town with the windows down.  My emotional state matched the flickering moodiness of the albums: the perfect prescription for “being gentle with yourself” and it felt completely right. Contrary to the act of cruising around, I didn't feel the need to race through the momentary sadness or desire for brooding.  I just sat in it with my favorite friend, Music, and practiced being gentle with myself.  And, for the record, listening to a new album in the car is the perfect prescription for almost ANY state of being.  You heard it here. :-)

Thoughts Before Paris

1. The one thing that has been stressing me out since booking my flights for Paris was the tight connection at Newark.  Upon checking in last night, United gave me an option to switch flights at $75 per ticket, allowing me to get an earlier flight from PWM to EWR, therefore extending my connection time to do a liberal three hours.  So, I said heck with it: $150 is a small price to pay for peace of mind and to avoid potentially being stranded in Newark (rather than the City of Lights) for a day.  You only live once, right?
2. The great thing about long flights is that I have an excuse to buy books at random.  (I will admit, I was a tiny bit tempted to pick up 50 Shades of Grey, but I decided to hold off on that bandwagon for a bit.)   Instead, I bought AM Homes’s (one of my all-time favorite authors) May We Be Forgiven and Domenica Ruta’s addiction memoir, With or Without You.  Both have received wide critical acclaim, in addition to being touted as Huffington Post’s Best Book Club Books of the fall.  I prefer solo book clubs anyway.
3. The other day my good friend Liz told me that something happened to her in yoga – she cried. “Luckily,” she said, “I was in the back row, but crying and yoga is SO cathartic.  It’s like peanut butter and jelly."  How awesome is that?  Now I want to try it.  (Maybe after Paris.)
4. I love fall. I love pumpkin. I love spice.  But this year it seems like the pumpkin-spiced-themed everything has kind of gotten outta control: candles, perfume, coffee drinks, car fresheners.  But hey, maybe that’s just me.  (It’s probably just me.)
5. My friend Brandon sent me an email last Wednesday morning that said, “Stop whatever you’re doing and get the new Janelle Monáe album.”  As a fan of hers since the 2010 release of The ArchAndroid (also amazing), I listened to him.  The Electric Lady is beautifully varied, featuring other genre-bending artists like Esperanza Spalding, Solange, Miguel, and Prince.  If you only listen to one track, I suggest “What An Experience.”  Wow.

Thirsty Thursday Thoughts

1. After listening to Ambrosia’s “Biggest Part of Me” on XM’s ‘70s channel yesterday I realized how I own nary a single album of theirs.  (And that is odd because I am a serious smooth '70s fan.)  Needless to say, I’ve since remedied that situation.  If you're also a forgot-you-are fan, Rhino High Five has an EP containing all the heavy hitters: “Biggest Part of Me”, “How Much I Feel,” “You’re The Only Woman."  
2. As you may be aware, I’m into TED talks these days.  I just watched Meg Jay’s “30 Is Not the New 20” and got major goose bumps.  (And, it actually made me feel pretty good about some of my life choices, which was a nice little bonus.)  She doesn't have quite the finesse that Brene Brown has, but she has some great things to say, as well as some wonderful advice.  A must-see for sure.
3. I know I’m only contributing to the broken record that is the commentary on Miley Cyrus this week, but I can’t help myself.  Yes, I happen to be a fan (on one hand because the rebel in me admires a girl who doesn't give a f****, and then on the other hand, in the face of everyone criticizing her, it makes me want to stick up for her more.)  And let's be reals here: "We Can't Stop" is great pop music.  Today, my friend sent me this interesting commentary on how everybody’s missing the point that the song is actually a depressing homage to the highs and lows of drug use.  And while the interpretation is a startlingly accurate and sobering analysis of which I can't disagree with, I choose to respond to it in perhaps a more innocent way.  The lyrics that “It’s our party we can do what we want/It’s our party we can say what we want/It’s our party we can love who want” is also about living your own life, your own way, regardless of societal and peer pressures.  Though I agree that the song’s primary theme is probably about getting high on the party drug “Molly”, I think that its dual meaning is also about being true and real and honest to yourself and others, which for me is an even more universally felt and positive message.  (Although I will say, I’m quite glad to have become educated on Molly.)
4. On a semi-related note, if you aren’t reading Zen Habits then you might want to consider it.  This week, Leo Babuta had the following quote, which was about eating healthy, but which also pertains to life in general: “Be curious. . . . Let go of expectations and prejudgments.  You might find out some interesting things.”
5. Summer is ending, which is always a little bittersweet, but I ain’t gonna lie: fall fashion is the freaking best.  Bring on the sweaters, boots, and denim!

That's all for this Thirsty Thursday.  Have a lovely and relaxing Labor Day weekend!

Five Things

• I came home late last night to a mailbox full of  thick, glossy "September issues" and it was as if someone had given me a thick wad of 20s and said, "Here.  Go have fun."  Needless to say, September is a great month if you're a magazine whore like me.  (By the by, did you see Oprah's hair on the cover of O?)

• Beyond staying in my PJs as long as I feel like today, I'm planning on catching up on some music videos.  And while I know both the songs quite well, I've been informed that the videos to Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors" and Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" are current essentials.
• It's been a couple weeks since I've been using the Clarisonic Plus, and I have to say: it really is all they say it is.  After having the system on my wish list for a couple years, I finally went for it after reading repeated interviews in one week about how the Clarisonic was the one face product they couldn't live without.  I've been using the sensitive brush head so far and it provides the perfect amount of exfoliation for daily or every other day use.  My skin has never felt so smooth.
• I am one of the few females in the world who dislikes weddings and all the hoopla associated with them.  (And I realize this makes me a curmudgeon of sorts.)  A bachelorette party, on the other hand, when suited to the bride's personality rather than the generic mainstream standard of our time, is a festive and important prelude to the bride's big day.  But why must they be only a one-time event? 
• Though I consider myself a reflective person, when it comes to making decisions I typically let instinct and intuition be my guide and just do it.  In some cases, I wind up making decisions very quickly, in other cases, sometimes rashly.  On the whole, though, my decision-making hasn't failed me, yet anyway.  This wonderful post on how decision-making should be viewed as an experiment, rather than something that needs to be overthought (when there is never a predetermined outcome to a decision anyway), was illuminating and insightful, and well, made me feel a little more justified in my approach to decisions.

Frisky Friday - A week in review.

1. I learned this week that cleaning my house on a weeknight is not only oddly rejuvinating, but it frees the weekends up for more fun things.  I am continually aiming for that perfect combination of freedom, fun, and R&R in a weekend, which is not always attainable, but by trying to squeeze in some chores during the week, I feel like I'm getting closer to that ideal. 
2. Lately I've been working on calming my food noise, a term coined by my favorite former Housewife, Bethenny Frankel.  Calming my noise means allowing myself to give into temptation a little more often, as long as I'm doing it in a moderate way.  The ultimate goal of this is to avoid a constant diet mindset.  For the past week I had been craving cheap mac & cheese, the really bad-for-you kind made with the powdered stuff, so that's what I had for din-din Tuesday night.  Yes, it was amazing as cheap mac & cheese can get, and yes, I started my day the next morning with a fresh green juice.  Life is about finding the right balance that works for you; my personal balance just happens to include mac & cheese every once in a while.
3. I was never a pedicure kind of girl, but since a nail place opened up two doors down from my work I've become a total convert.  It is like the best little indulgence $20 can buy.   OPI's "It's a Girl" is currently on my toes right now and it's the Perfect Nude Pink, IMHO.  Sexy and subtle - just the way I like it.
4. If friends are the new family I have the best family a girl could have.  Yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, my best friend sent me the sweetest email which completely melted my heart.  It reiterated the importance of these kinds of relationships and just how lucky I am to have certain people in my life. 
5. A weekend with no set schedule is one of the most underrated luxuries in life (see #1 above).  This weekend happens to be the first in several weeks where I don't have to be anywhere at any given time and I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT IT.  If all my weekends were this way I probably wouldn't be so excited, but a quiet one amidst several busy ones really is like a diamond in the rough. 
6. You know this post wouldn't be complete without a little music tidbit.  Of course, right?  Well, this week I've been really digging Booker T. Jones's Sound The Alarm.  My personal favs are "Watch You Sleeping," "Broken Heart," and "All Over The Place" - all tracks featuring some lesser known yet exceptionally talented vocalists. 

Just a Tuesday Tickle.

A random list of thoughts brought to you on a Tuesday by yours truly.

1. It occurred to my on my ride home from work today that Enrique Iglesias's "Bailamos" might be one of the great long-lost pop hits of the '90s.  Just don't watch the video because let's just say it hasn't aged well, the styling of which has reduced the song to a corny choreographed mess.  But the song really is a sexy little number.  Listen to it, and you'll hear what I mean.
2. This article made me feel a little less guilty about consuming a half-watermelon every time I crack one open. 
3. The writing in Dexter continues to blow my mind.  Dr. Vogel offered up this gem (Episode 2 of Season 8), which really resonated with me: "I developed a framework for your survival.  That's what mothers do."
4. Another beautiful quote from the ever-inspiring and enlightening site, Brain Pickings, has stayed with me ever since I came upon it the other day: "Always be more than you appear, and never appear to be more than you are." - Angela Merkel 
5. It's amazing what things do to your ego (and after reading The Power of Now I've become that much more aware of how ego is involved in everything we do, think or say), but alas.  So, one of the Entertainment Weekly's editors followed me on Twitter the other day and then "favorited" one of my tweets today.  Is it bad that it kind of made my ego's day? 
6. I'm pumped that Sara Bareilles's new album comes out on July 16.  Her songwriting's so pop-rock delicious.  I also happen to be a pretty big fan of the beautiful/talented/good girly/nerdy combo.  (And as an FYI, she's pretty fun to follow on Twitter.)
7. I'm always walking that fine line of whether it's inappropriate or appropriate to tell someone I've dreamt about them.  The honest part of me feels a strange ethical obligation to let them in on it, as if it's something they need to know, to be privy to; the other part of me realizes this might come off a little creepy.  I wonder if this is some kind of strange compulsion or whether it's normal-ish.  (Thoughts welcome.)

What's Missing from Entertainment Weekly's All-Time Greatest?

Entertainment Weekly just issued its “100 All-Time Greatest” issue, which lists the supposed greatest movies, TV shows, albums, and novels of, well, all time. In the Editor’s Note, Jess Cagle writes that “[w]e would decide what was best, without worrying whether it adhered to or violated conventional wisdom,” which included trying to “honor contemporary work that will endure for centuries to come alongside the classics.”

While I am well aware that music is as subjective as one's taste in the opposite sex (which is why many people look at me funny when I tell them my all-time celebrity crush is Tom Selleck!), as a music fanatic I couldn't help but share a few albums that I think should’ve been included in the “All-Time Greatest issue”, although for whatever reason didn’t make it there.   

So I'm just going to go out and say it.  Why the eff did not one single Steely Dan album make the list?  I realize that some do not like Steely Dan and that some may not have heard of Steely Dan (those who have not are either 12 and/or exclusively listen to whatever the Top 40 station spoon-feeds you, and for that your opinion doesn't really matter in this case.)  Most anyone who loves music, or perhaps more importantly knows music, realizes that Steely Dan is a serious band for the serious music nerd, case in point being Paul Rudd’s character in the movie Knocked Up.  His friends made fun of him for it (because that's what douche-y dudes do, but as a music producer he knew his stuff and made his case for why Steely Dan is one of the greatest bands ever). While my life changed (good art has that effect) when I really discovered Steely Dan at the age of 17 is actually pretty irrelevant here, especially since Katy Lied and Pretzel Logic are both albums that have received wide critical acclaim and beyond that are just really universally great pieces of music.  No disrespect to EW, but for these reasons, at least one of those albums should have made the list.

Whether you like hip hop or not, I was quite appalled that not a single Roots album appeared on EW's list, though I did agree with the inclusion of Jay-Z’s The Blueprint, De La Soul’s 3 Feet High and Rising, and The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. The Roots are the kind of band that transcend their genre.  And by this I mean that people who don't even like hip hop happen to appreciate the Roots. But strictly on an album level, their records are the sort that encompass a very distinct mood and theme (of particular importance since EW's listing is based on greatest albums and not bands). Most notable, and missing from the list in my opinion, were Illadelph Halflife (released in 1996) and undun (released in 2011).  Both are the kind of albums that will continue to blow your mind no matter how many times you've played them over.  Listen for yourself, and you'll likely agree.

Finally, how did Al Green's Call Me (which I like, understandably) make the list, but not Shuggie Otis’s Inspiration Information? That album is disgustingly incredible. Released in 1974, it maintains a consistent laidback, romantic mood, while simultaneously unfolding like a novella.  As a timepiece of the 1970s, it also somehow still manages to transcend the time period. For example, I could play the album in summertime 1970s Greenwich Village or summertime 2010s Greenwich Village and in either era it would hold up as one of the great Greats. And, well, “Strawberry Letter 23” and “Aht Uh Mi Head” are easily five-star tracks, at least they are for me.

And that's all I have to say about that.

"What You Won't Do For Love"

I am utterly obsessed with Jessie Ware these days. 

Her voice, her style, her essence and soul -- to me, she represents everything that I love about music.  Needless to say, if you haven't heard about her, you're missing out.  Tonight I discovered a cover she did of one of my very favorite songs of the 1970s, Bobby Caldwell's "What You Won't Do For Love", and it's so disgustingly beautiful I can't stop listening to it. 

Even though the original is one of my favorite songs of all time, I am honestly not sure whether the original or Jessie's remake is better.  (As a sidenote, 2Pac and Gwen McCrae also have some pretty fine renditions of the tune as well.)  Alas, without any further adieu, here's a side by side of Jessie's version and Bobby's version.

 

Week-end Lessons Learned

At my job, “Lessons Learned” are what we assess, discuss, and analyze at the end of a project. By looking at a completed project as something that can be learned from, rather than something that simply goes away when the project is complete, the team is forced to look at a completed project as a series of potential lessons that can be applied to future projects or tasks.

I like to think of life this way, too. As we navigate through life, we know only what we know at the time, but if we’re continually open to learning from our experiences (which consist of a combination of both mistakes and successes) we become better, more evolved people.

My personal Lessons Learned from this week are as follows:

1. When in doubt always carry flats in your bag. Heels are necessary with certain outfits – dresses, skirts, slacks – but they are inappropriate and uncomfortable for walking around a city. With heels on your feet and flats in your bag, you can have the best of both worlds.

 2. Strip clubs are really just bars with naked chicks in them. The dancers do not necessarily have better bodies than you do and some even have small tatas. Also, they carry shiny pink wristlets to collect their dollar bills, which they’re not afraid to count in public.

3. When you’re traveling, the only thing you can count on is a healthy breakfast. So pay for that $7 oatmeal. It may be the only chance you get for a healthy meal and it’s likely not much more expensive than the cardboard-tasting cereal bar at the hotel store.

 4. The “Little Burger” at Five Guys might possibly be better than sex and is completely worth breaking your predominantly plant-based diet for.  The fries are great too -- don't get me wrong -- but the Little Burger is truly something special.

 5. When a man at a bar says to you,“You’re gorgeous/Can I get your number?/Are you married?/What do you do? I’m a lawyer” and then sticks out his limp-like-spaghetti hand, go ahead and believe it when he says you’re gorgeous (because - why the heck not?), but don’t believe that he’s a lawyer.  Also, when someone of the opposite sex comes up to you and asks you if you are a particular nationality, such as Scandinavian or Norwegian, apparently that’s a come-on. Take it as a compliment and tell him/her you’re American.

 6. The music at W Hotels is always sexy and intoxicating and is the inspiration for my obsession with iTunes playlists.  Why I like music that makes me feel sexy and intoxicating is no matter, but you can score the soundtrack here.

7. Jazz-soul artist Alice Smith is back with a vengeance, and her new album, She, includes Cee-Lo Green's cover of "Fool For You," which is just sick. The entire album is raw, soulful, and classy, just the way I like it.

8. There are these Asian noodles called "Pasta Zero Plus" that have only 20 calories per serving. But don't get too excited. They're actually kind of disgusting, contain no nutritional value, don't fill you up (duh, right?), and are just not worth the $3.

Five TGIF Thoughts

1. Just because I have an English degree doesn’t mean that other people’s pronunciations don’t sometimes make me second guess what I previously believed to be grammatically or phoentically correct. For example, I’ve been hearing smart people pronouncing breakfasts as breakfastses lately and it’s gotten me all confused and paranoid.  It's breakfasts, right?  Same goes for the word suppose used in the following manner: “It was suppose to be fun.” It’s supposed, right? Right?  Please tell me I'm right.  (But if I'm not, please don't say I'm right just to be nice.)

2. If you’re in the market for a Rolls Royce sports bra (and as a lass who wants to keep her girls “high and tight” I think you should be), this is the one. For the past couple years, I’ve been wearing this Cadillac-level sports bra, and it’s been extremely supportive, albeit a bit of a failure in the comfort department (think lots of digging in the ribcage during crunches).  The Panache bra is a much smoother ride. A little flashy and a little pricy, maybe, but no one said taking good care of your goods is cheap.  Editor's Note: this recent French study just released suggests that bras don't prevent sagging; however, study results are "preliminary."  Until then, I'm going to continue to support mine, especially during l'exercice.

3. I have always always written off country music as honky-tonk hunky dory, rhythmless, and BORE-ing.  Even in the past several years with the whole country-cum-pop movement did I refuse to jump on that train. But last weekend I heard Taylor Swift’s “Fifteen” on the radio and it made me feel like I was 15 again, and I kinda liked it. You know the way Ben Folds Five's Whatever and Ever Amen makes you feel? Yeah, that's what I mean. Of course, as soon as got home I had to download the song, which was shortly followed by a download of the entire album. Now I’m a fan of The Band Perry too. What the hell is wrong with me? (Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me?)

4. I read this quote from Portia de Rossi today and it captured the essence [of those who are choosing not to have children] beautifully:

       There comes some pressure in your mid-30s, and you think, Am I  
       going to have kids so I don’t miss out on something that other people
       really seem to love? Or is it that I really genuinely want to do this with my
      whole heart? I didn’t feel that my response was ‘yes’ to the latter. You have
      to really want to have kids, and neither of us did. So it’s just going to be me
      and Ellen and no babies -- but we’re the best of friends and married life is
      blissful, it really is. I’ve never been happier than I am right now.

5. A spray tan has the power to make you feel super sexy (not to mention, tight and toned in all the right places), especially in April if your skin hasn’t seen the light of day since September.  Who cares if you're not going to be wearing a bikini anytime soon?  Plus, with a spray tan, you can elect to get a subtle tan line here and there, because let's just be real: tan lines are pretty hot.

Have you heard?

If you haven't heard of Charles Bradley you should, especially since he just released his second album, aptly titled Victim of Love.  I've admittedly only given the album a first spin, but at first listen my favorite track thus far is "Strictly Reserved For You."  The video is equal parts tender, aesthetically mesmerizing, and silly. 

So, without any further adieu.

A "Part of Me."

If you really want to know, my Sunday night was spent curled up on the couch watching Katy Perry: Part of Me.  It was everything I hoped it would be: a girly pop-fest featuring Katy in candy-coated confections on the stage and then makeup-less behind it.  (For the record, she’s freaking gorgeous no matter what state she's in, but I digress.)  Basically, it was everything a KatyCat would want and more, even if it geared to the tween in any of us.

I found myself dancing along to the film in the first half (Um, hello!  She covers Whitney Houston’s "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" – you would be dancing too) and then shedding tears during the second half as Katy’s marriage with Russell Brand began to unravel. 

 

"Thanks for believing in my weirdness." - Katy Perry

But what can I say?  It came as a welcome sweet cap to the end of an otherwise gloomy day.  Though I consider myself somewhat of a “KatyCat” (I celebrate her entire catalogue, including the remixes, as an FYI), I was admittedly a little meh when I saw the trailer for the movie this past summer.  But all it took was hearing Opie praising it on Opie & Anthony a couple months ago and then I was all, “Now I gotta see this movie.”  I swear: they could tell me newspaper tasted good and I’d probably believe them, but what are you gonna do? 

Unsurprisingly, Part of Me didn’t have nearly the depth that some of my other favorite documentaries of late had (Queen of Versailles is really, really something if you want to know), but it struck the girly chord in me, and well, a good cathartic cry is really just plain necessary sometimes, right?

Gwen McCrae, where have you been all my life?

I caught Gwen McCrae's "Rockin' Chair" the other day on the radio and scurried home to download it so I could listen to it again, and again, and again.  I figured it wasn't fair to keep it to myself since this is some serious sexy soul no one should be missing out on, that is, if you're into that sort of thing.

The Private Dancer

One of my favorite downtime activities is turning on some tunes and breaking out in a little private dancing.  The beauty of private dancing is that (a) you can do it in your PJs (or anything for that matter); (b) you can be in charge of the playlist; and (c) you can be as crazy as you want and no one’s watching, or well, just the person/people you want to be watching are watching.

I love to dance because it allows me to feel music through my body, something you can't quite experience by simply listening to music.  For this reason, it doesn’t matter if I’m tired -- if I turn on some music that happens to have a good groove I’ll break into dance.  Unsurprisingly, this not only happens at home; I do this in the car too.  And sometimes in an elevator or a hotel lobby if I know no one else is around.  A breakout of spontaneous, private dancing is some of the best.

 

But while I love dancing, I am often too shy to dance in a crowded room of people, save for my prom, the last time I remember getting down and dirty on the dance floor with a kid I had known since nursery school.  That was a few years ago.  For this reason, private dance parties are usually way more fun for me.  You get to pick the music; you get to dance as nasty or as not nasty as you want; and you can wear anything you want.  Besides, dancing barefoot is always much easier than dancing in heels. 

While private dancing is a great pastime, I’ve always wanted to dance at a wedding because that’s what you do at weddings.   What else is the point of a wedding?  :)  I've always thought it was a bit of a shame that I felt too shy to get down in public, particularly since I happen to have some decent rhythm.   This past weekend I went to a wedding where a great deal of dancing was involved.  Listening to the music I got that feeling, that desire to start moving to the beat.  And then I just couldn’t help myself.  My inhibition melted away and I rolled up to the floor and just danced, not caring whatsoever who was watching or who was not watching.  And it was freaking awesome! 

Some people have no problem with inhibition in a crowded room of people, something that I have always admired.  Other people love to be the center of attention, to the point that they need to be the center of attention.  I am not that person.  Don't get me wrong: I like attention, but not in a public way.  I prefer attention from one person or from a very small, intimate group of people, not  from a sea of people, which is why being a private dancer is really fun.  But what I’ve learned is that in a crowded room of people no one is concerned about you since everyone is concerned about themselves.  No one cares if you are dancing or not dancing.  And, for that reason, it is only you missing out if you want to be grooving to the music.  Since I love to dance, it’s only been me who's been missing out on the action, and that's no fun.

Now that I’ve lost my wedding-dancing virginity I feel like a new woman, like I’ve finally unleashed a part of me to the world that I haven’t been able to unleash before.  Oftentimes, it takes just one time to do something to overcome our fears for us to no longer feel paralyzed by them.  I will forever be a private dancer, but now I may take it to the dance floor a little more often.  

A Year in Review: Favorite Albums of 2012

With December here, 2012 is almost over.  What better reason to cap the year off with a review of my personal favorite albums of the year?  Herewith is the run-down:

Amy Winehouse - Amy Winehouse at the BBC. Live recordings of the late Amy and her magnificent band. Mostly the same tunes from her albums, but a few new tracks as well. Possibly my favorite release of 2012, but that could be because I’m still high on its recent release.  Well, I thought about it, and it's still my favorite of the year.

Esperanza Spalding - Radio Music Society. Oh, what’s not to say about Esperanza? Girl’s got it all, in my humble opinion. I discovered her a few years ago, and still can’t get enough of her sweet, jazz slash R&B sound. A little more R&B influenced than her last album, which had a gentle classical flavor, this album is the perfect French macaron: sweet, tender, and complex.

John Mayer - Born and Raised. Admittedly, I was a little hesitant at first about this release (it could’ve just been the hair – who knows?), but the album, which sounded single-faceted upon a first listen, unfolded with surprising complexity as I played it over a few times. It’s also a great lazy day album.

Frank Ocean - channel ORANGE. If this is the direction R&B is going, I think I’m okay with it. It’s modern, sleek, and perhaps a bit hollow instrumentally, but the result is a deep, dark, sexy, and moody sound. Favorite tracks are "Thinkin Bout You," "Sweet Life," and Benny and the Jets'-inspired "Super Rich Kids."

Joss Stone - The Soul Sessions, Volume 2. A fan from day 1, Joss is R&B’s Susan Tedeschi. This album covers some lesser known soul hits from the 1960s and 1970s. All the tracks are great, but if I had to pick one “Teardrops” is five-star.

R. Kelly - Write Me Back. Yes, really. Some good old-fashioned baby-making music here, and this sister knows: I have an ear for this stuff. “When a Man Lies”, “Fallin’ from the Sky,” and “Feeling Single” are top-shelf in my book.

Donald Fagen - Sunken Condos. A new Steely Dan album would’ve been preferred, but I’ll take Donald any way I can get him. Not a huge departure from his other more recent solo albums, which is a good thing, because there’s nothing out there that sounds quite like him.

The Weeknd – Trilogy. A collection of modern R&B in a similar vein as Ocean’s channel ORANGE, except that this album is even darker, deeper, and more melancholy, with strong sexual and drug-infused undertones. The three-disc collection does not have the smoothest sequencing, but if you’re willing to dig, there are standouts that make the album a remarkable timepiece for 2012. Or, I can do the work for you and suggest “Wicked Games,” “Valerie,” and “Twenty Eight.”

Rihanna - Unapologetic (Deluxe version). I don’t know what it is about her, but I scoop everything that she puts out right up. Though not quite as fun as last year's release (Talk That Talk), this is nevertheless some good, bad-girl pop. I don't know about you, but I need a regular Rihanna buzz in my ear when I’m workin' it on the treadmill. Favorite track: “Nobody’s Business.”

         

Change in Season = Change in Tune(s)

Do you begin to crave different music with the change in seasons?   I do. 

All summer I have been listening to carefree, upbeat, sexy music:  lots of '70s and '80s soul (i.e., Maze, The Jacksons, Buddy Miles), a bit of disco (such as the Boogie Nights soundtrack), some current and classic pop-rock (including John Mayer's new album, Robbie Dupree, Christopher Cross), and a bit of Jay-Z, in particular, The Blueprint 2. 

Music is often the backdrop of our lives, and with the transition from summer to fall resulting in a change in activity, temperment, and, to some extent, lifestyle, so too (at least for me) music is affected by this transition. 

Come fall, when the days begin to shorten and the air turns brisk, my desire for new music (at least this season) happens to consist of a more moody, mid-tempo, rock-based soundtrack than my sexy, soul-heavy summer soundtrack.  Herewith is my first playlist for fall:

• “Girl Can’t Help It” Journey
• “Still Can’t...” The Cranberries
• “Carnival” Natalie Merchant
• "Is This Love” Whitesnake
• “I’ll Be Alright Without You” Journey
• “Tin Man” America
• “Tempted” Squeeze
• “I Can’t Tell You Why” The Eagles
• “Who’s Crying Now” Journey
• “Lightening Crashes” Live
• “Rhymes of an Hour” Mazzy Star
• “Free” The Martinis
• “Beautiful Calm Driving” Sia
• “Last Goodbye” Jeff Buckley
• “I Go To Sleep” Sia
• “Levon” Elton John
• “Bad Sneakers” Steely Dan
• “What Goes Around Comes Around” Lenny Kravitz
• “Knocks Me Off My Feet” Stevie Wonder
• “Crystal Blue Persuasion” Tommy James & The Shondells

What are you listening to this fall?

On Adele: The Sweden of Pop

Adele is that kind of artist that everyone likes. Be you a music aficianado or not, you like her, let’s be honest. She is the safe bet, the Sweden of music. She’s like gay marriage. Everyone’s for it, so why even mention it? It’s a moot point that everyone supports it (except for the one important caveat that it’s not technically legal yet, but you get my drift, right?).

If you put some Adele on at a party (no matter what kind of party it is), no one will bust your balls. Everyone will say how much they “love Adele”, ironically, as if it’s the greatest revelation in the world, and everyone will agree. (Or, you can be like me, and put on Elton John’s "Madman Across The Water" at your 6th grade Halloween party, and everyone will sneer, and you can keep playing it anyway because it’s your effing party and you can play what you want.)  She is the epitome of a neutral party, which isn’t a bad thing.  It's simply that it's not all that interesting to make the proclamation that you are her biggest fan, because everyone is.

I bet you can name at least five of your Facebook friends who shared or posted about how much they “loved” Adele particularly the overplayed "Rolling in the Deep," in the past year. It was almost like seeing someone sharing their Words with Friends results except that it was even more insignificant, because it was not identifying any interesting or relevant information about themselves, because, news flash: EVERYONE IS POSTING THE SAME THING.

I’m all for fanship and music appreciation – don’t get me wrong. If there is one thing I’m passionate about, it’s music, and there is nothing wrong with sharing that excitement for an artist or song you love. So please don’t take this as bitchiness, even if it is. (But, come on, we all know I’m a bit of a sassy bitch.)  The same goes for hot-button issues that everyone believes in. Maybe it’s just me, but pretty much everyone I know is “for gay marriage,” voted for Obama, is a vegetarian, and, well, apparently everyone loves Adele – or is scared to admit otherwise.

It’s something about the bandwagon nature of the human race that I can only sometimes relate to. People like that thing or say they like that thing because someone else does, and therefore it immediately makes them become interested in that thing they may not have ever discovered otherwise. This is perfectly fine and acceptable and completely human, but when they advertise the discovery with complete utter disregard for its already widespread fanship as if it’s a unique characteristic about themselves, it drives me nuts.

On the flip side, I have this unfortunate trait wherein when mass groups of people like something – especially people who know nothing about what they’re participating in – I am immediately turned off by it. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I’M PROUD OF, BY THE WAY, just something I can't same to shake about myself.

This is not true for dance pop – the Britneys, the Carly Rae Jepsens, and Selena Gomezes. I love that shit, because it’s fun and unpretentious and made for disposability. It’s music, but only kind of, you know? There are also other exceptions to this trait, generally when it comes to fashion, because fashion is everchanging and really isn’t something to be taken very seriously anyway.  It's just for fun.

So, last week (I promise there's a point to this) I was in a consignment shop in Portland, and as I’m sifting through the denim rack my instinctive trait for disliking what the masses like was challenged. I hear a song that instantly catches my ear, you know, the kind of groove that you’re instantly pulled into and want to hear over and over again. I only listen to 45 seconds of the song before I have to leave the store, and I had already fallen in love with it, with the beat, the cadence, the instrumentation, the lyrics. It was a song I had never heard before, but I knew that voice: It was Adele.

My initial reaction was annoyance for liking a song by that girl who’s overliked by everyone and therefore kind of overrated, and then my second reaction was embarrassment for attempting to make a conscious effort not to like a song by that artist who is liked by everyone and their mother. It is one thing to not like something that everyone covets because it is no longer special – that’s a trait that I am either fortunately/unfortunately (depending on how you look at it) always going to have – but quite another to make a conscious effort not to like something simply because everyone likes it. I remember being a closet Britney Spears fan for years until I realized, I effing like Britney Spears – who cares if she's the Princess of Pop? So, even though Adele is the Sweden of Pop -- the safe bet that everyone likes -- I’m not going to dislike her just to be a cultural rebel. I’ll blame it on that beautiful song, “He Won’t Go,” for changing my inner rebel to a bandwagon fan.

Humble Review - Aloe Blacc's "Loving You Is Killing Me"

I may be a few months (or a year) behind on the Aloe Blacc fan track, but hot damn.  He's got a throwback sound with a hip new swagger, and I love how his voice is reminiscent of one of my very favorite R&B/soul singers -- Bill Withers.  Discovering good new music (especially when it's soul) always makes my day. 

Herewith is a standout track -- "Loving You Is Killing Me" -- that I've had on repeat all weekend.  Not only is the song sexy and upbeat, but I'm mesmorized by the video with its clean white backdrop and Blacc and a little afro'd boy dancing like it's no one's business.  It makes me want to dance like that too! 

Enjoy!

The iPod Doesn't Lie

If you’re anything like me you probably have thousands of songs on your iPod, enjoy making numerous playlists for various occasions and moods, and regardless, have those certain songs that you listen to over and over again. 

Still, taking inventory of the most played songs on my iPod surprised me.  In particular, my Top Most 30 Played smart playlist revealed that I have played Incognito’s “Out Of The Storm” a record 66 times, the most played song on my iPod.  At 23 plays, Beyonce’s “Love On Top” is the least played of my Top Most 30 Played songs.  Interestingly enough, most of the songs are in the R&B genre, except for George Benson’s “Breezin’” (at 33 plays), Michael McDonald’s “I Keep Forgettin’” (at 32 plays), two tracks by Esperanza Spalding (at 38 and 31 plays each), Ashley Tisdale’s “Hair" from her so aptly entitled album, Guilty Pleasure (at 31 plays), and two tracks by sassy pop songstress Jessie J (at 27 and 28 plays, respectively). 

At 81.8 GB of music, my iPod is getting close to capacity, and while I have probably an equal amount of R&B, pop, classic rock, alternative, hip hip, and electronica on the device, this list doesn’t lie.  With the exception of playing certain songs a ridiculous amount of times because they are/were new and I just couldn’t get enough, most of these tracks are representative of what I want to hear over and over again.  And, let's be honest here, I love my R&B. 

 What are your Top Most 30 Played songs?  It may surprise you -- then again, maybe it won't!

RIP, Ms. Winehouse

“Holy shit -- Amy Winehouse was found dead.”  That’s what my husband said to me reading his newsfeed on his Blackberry while we stood in line at Starbucks waiting for our mocha frappaccinos Saturday afternoon.  (God, we sound like such yuppies, but what can I say?  That's what we were doing.)  He continued to ramble on – actually making a poignant remark about how Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, and Kurt Cobain died at the same age, and I interrupted him to say, “Just wait a minute.  I need to have a moment.”  Stunned, I stood there waiting for my beverage, while I processed the tragic news. 

I suppose I shouldn’t have been so surprised, or so stunned.  After all, it was no secret that Winehouse was a hardcore addict – both a troubled alcoholic and drug abuser – who had been in and out of rehab numerous times over the past few years.  But still, there is an almost assumed immunity in the young and the extremely talented, that I thought Winehouse would’ve been exempt from the kind of tragic death that might consume an ordinary person overtaken by such an illness.  This may be a wrong assumption, but that’s the kind of musical genius I thought she was, that I think many people thought she was. 

In the past couple days, though, I’ve seen a lot of comments, namely on Facebook, by people saying that her life was a waste, and why should her death be such a shock when she was a one-hit wonder anyway?  I would venture to say that those who were not impacted by her death the way that her fans are had not subjected themselves to the talent that was Amy Winehouse, which I think is sad.  I don't think it's necessarily sad that they were not impacted by her death, mind you.  We're all affected by things differently (personally, I thought the reaction over Michael Jackson's death was a little overdone), but it's sad for someone to not have known her genius, that she was far more than just a "one-hit wonder."   

Her album, Back to Black, released first in 2006  won her six Grammys.  And let’s be honest – it’s a mother f’ing masterpiece.  Her first album, Frank, had less notoriety in the U.S. because it had only been released in the UK, but it is probably equally as good.  (I recommend “You Sent Me Flying/Cherry” and “Take The Box” – two notable standouts on that album.)  Sadly, she had not released an album since Back to Black and before her death, but those two albums – whether you’re an aficionado of R&B or not – will go down in history as cult classics. 

I think some of the animosity toward Amy Winehouse is the manner she supposedly died – over a seizure related to excessive alcohol consumption.  That doesn’t take well to a lot of people.  Coming from someone who is pretty anti-drug herself, I totally get that.  And, in a way, she opened herself to some of that flak as the result of her big radio hit, “Rehab.”  But that’s what made her so appealing – that raw grit that not only described her vocal appeal, but her lyricism as well.  Winehouse was not known for her beauty or for her put-on charm.  In that sense, she was a musician, tried and true.  There was no staged charisma; the essence of her appeal was in her I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude – not in that annoying hipster way – but sadly, more likely as a result of her energies being consumed by her addiction. 

Despite that, even when she appeared visibly intoxicated during concerts she was incapable of escaping her gift, that astounding voice and presence that was unique to only her.  Whether you were a fan or not, it’s a sad day when a musician of her caliber leaves the music community, because she touched a lot of people – both fans and musicians alike -- as well as lent a unique sensibility to the music industry; there was simply no one out there like her.  Drug addiction and alcoholism aside, she was a  powerhouse of a vocalist and songwriter-- a true musician who happened to leave us just a little too early.  Beyond that, I guess I have nothing else to say, other than, RIP, Ms. Winehouse.  You will be missed.